It occurred to me after talking to a friend, that one can only truly be encouraged by truth. We can say nice things to each other and try to lift one's spirits, but from the core level - only truth will really build one up. Take for instance a situation where a friend is facing a dead marriage. According to the world's standards, this marriage was over years ago. This friend has stuck with it, riding the waves of pain, frustration and heartache. She has grieved over her broken dreams and had to realize that her life has been forever changed, and not by any choice she made for herself.
She is committed to being the wife God has called her to be. Even if her husband isn't acting the way he should be. This is the "for better, for worse" part of the vow. This is worse. She has run the gamut of emotions from sorrow to anger and back again. Each day, she tries to see past her sadness, past her circumstances to find the joy that only the Lord can give her. It is an amazing journey to watch, to be invited to participate in with her. It is a divine privilege that I don't take lightly. There have been times that I wanted to go and pack up this man, who I love like a brother, and move him out myself. But, my job is to encourage her in her journey. Who am I to encourage one to walk out on a promise to God Himself.
As I pray for this couple, for healing, restoration, forgiveness and peace - I am also reminded to pray that God would give my friend guidance and joy that only He can give. That is the beautiful thing about God's joy - it is not reliant on our circumstances. May He draw each of them to Himself, above all else.
What is the truth in this situation? This is a question we have come back to a million times. The truth is: God is sovereign. If God is sovereign, then He divinely purposed these two to become one in marriage. Marriage was God's idea, not that we would live as separate people trying to row the same boat, or different boats, but that we would become one, rowing the same boat. Each member of the marriage has divine purpose, different giftings and weaknesses. It isn't supposed to be easy, we're not supposed to be able to figure it out without the Creator's intervention. We can't love without his help, we certainly can't experience true "oneness" without Him.
The fact that these two haven't given up over the years of pain they have endured is a modern day miracle. I can't wait to see how God is going to glorify Himself in this.
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