What do I want to be about? I am challenged by this question on several levels. In church today, I was thinking about what is it that I am more passionate about than seeking Jesus? I love Jesus, don't get me wrong... I love to worship, grow and be challenged to walk the talk. Is my pursuit of Jesus the biggest thing in my life though? What takes first place?
First place is probably tied across several areas... I am passionate about education. Early childhood education specifically. I don't know why, but I become irritated when I see educational practices that are not appropriate. The educational system in general is greatly flawed. This is why reform keeps happening. We can't seem to perfect the "system," partly because we do have to "systemize" it.
Advocating for children is another passion of mine. Children who do not have a voice and are trapped in situations that they are not responsible for. From irresponsible parents to commercialized sex slaves, I want to change the world - but alas, it is much too big for me.
Marriage is another passion of mine. Seeing couples growing in unity together, living out marriage the way God intended. Working through stuff, being real and vulnerable with each other, building each other up. Too many people live in insecurity within the most precious relationship they should have. They react out of self-preservation and attack instead of protect. Your spouse is not your enemy, but there is one who has determined to make you think otherwise.
One way to identify passion is to determine what gets your goat. What makes you mad? What irritates you? It doesn't matter how noble the cause, if it takes a stride ahead of my desire for Jesus, it is not properly prioritized.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
What is Kindergarten?
Play is the purest, most spiritual activity of man at this stage and, at the same time, typical of human life as a whole—of the inner hidden natural life in man and all things. It gives, therefore, joy, freedom, contentment, inner and outer rest, peace with the world. It holds the sources of all that is good. A child that plays thoroughly, with self-active determination, persevering until physical fatigue forbids, will surely be a thorough, determined man, capable of self-sacrifice for the promotion of the welfare of himself and others. Is not the most beautiful expression of child-life at this time a playing child?—a child wholly absorbed in his play?—a child that has fallen asleep while so absorbed?
As already indicated, play at this time is not trivial, it is highly serious and of deep significance. Cultivate and foster it, O mother; protect and guard it, O father!" The name Friedrich Froebel gave to his system of education for children ages three through six; means “garden of children.”
<vbk:0558415024#outline(13.5.7.1)>
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Millions are suffering while I clean my light fixtures...
Yes, I am spring cleaning. I was thinking about all the troubling, heart wrenching things going on in our world. The tsunami that has brought with it loads and loads of devestating destruction, the sex trafficking epidemic, seeing in print yesterday that 1 in 6 Americans are hungry... All of this is going on while I tediously take my light fixtures apart and hand wash each and every fixture piece.
I was just commenting earlier today that I don't know where to start with all the needs... what should I do? I don't feel like I have time, and yet with the first few hours I find without homework - I am cleaning my light fixtures.
Something is so wrong with the way we live here. Middle Class Suburban America - we gave our Saturday away to maintaining the central vac, cleaning carpets, dusting ceiling fans, scouring window sills and cleaning light fixtures. All of these things have to be done in order to be good stewards of the things we have, but our priorities are askew. In fact, we are waaayyy off target.
The problem is, when Jesus commands us to sell all that we have and follow Him, does He mean it literally in our culture? Am I so caught up in fear and comfort that I refuse to acknowledge that command for what it is?
It seems easier to think in terms like these if I was feeling called to serve in a bush country somewhere overseas where people survive in huts with dirt floors on a daily basis. Yes, Jesus, I will follow you there. But, He is calling me to follow Him HERE, and I can't figure out what that really looks like.
I was just commenting earlier today that I don't know where to start with all the needs... what should I do? I don't feel like I have time, and yet with the first few hours I find without homework - I am cleaning my light fixtures.
Something is so wrong with the way we live here. Middle Class Suburban America - we gave our Saturday away to maintaining the central vac, cleaning carpets, dusting ceiling fans, scouring window sills and cleaning light fixtures. All of these things have to be done in order to be good stewards of the things we have, but our priorities are askew. In fact, we are waaayyy off target.
The problem is, when Jesus commands us to sell all that we have and follow Him, does He mean it literally in our culture? Am I so caught up in fear and comfort that I refuse to acknowledge that command for what it is?
It seems easier to think in terms like these if I was feeling called to serve in a bush country somewhere overseas where people survive in huts with dirt floors on a daily basis. Yes, Jesus, I will follow you there. But, He is calling me to follow Him HERE, and I can't figure out what that really looks like.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Why? But for Freedom.
I was thinking about this conversation that I've started about my dad. Thank you Mom, for your comment, I know it pushes you out of your comfort zone to post it here.
Why do I feel the need to address these things that surface in my life, instead of letting them go and forcing myself past them. Because I am feeling prompted to deal with this relationship, it will likely cause me to be severely uncomfortable and may even be painful. But, why do I push myself to dig to the roots and figure it out? It is because I want to live out my freedom in Christ. I know in my head that I am free in Him, but if I am carrying all the weight of the baggage that surfaces, I am not capable of living in that complete and total freedom.
When I have scraped the scab off of a wound, and treated the oozing painful mess underneath it, the freedom that comes from living without the bandage is so worth it. That is what we do in life. We bandaid our issues and carry the baggage and every once in awhile the stuff oozes out and we wipe it away. Sometimes we even change the bandaids, but nothing lasts forever. It will continue to ail us until we have dealt fully with the issue.
One layer at a time. God has never asked me to deal with more than one scab at a time. Some are bigger than others, but they are all nasty, crusty, ugly things that fester underneath.
Okay, I think I've made my point with this word picture. I feel like I need some peroxide and antibiotic ointment...
Why do I feel the need to address these things that surface in my life, instead of letting them go and forcing myself past them. Because I am feeling prompted to deal with this relationship, it will likely cause me to be severely uncomfortable and may even be painful. But, why do I push myself to dig to the roots and figure it out? It is because I want to live out my freedom in Christ. I know in my head that I am free in Him, but if I am carrying all the weight of the baggage that surfaces, I am not capable of living in that complete and total freedom.
When I have scraped the scab off of a wound, and treated the oozing painful mess underneath it, the freedom that comes from living without the bandage is so worth it. That is what we do in life. We bandaid our issues and carry the baggage and every once in awhile the stuff oozes out and we wipe it away. Sometimes we even change the bandaids, but nothing lasts forever. It will continue to ail us until we have dealt fully with the issue.
One layer at a time. God has never asked me to deal with more than one scab at a time. Some are bigger than others, but they are all nasty, crusty, ugly things that fester underneath.
Okay, I think I've made my point with this word picture. I feel like I need some peroxide and antibiotic ointment...
Friday, February 25, 2011
Truth and Encouragement
It occurred to me after talking to a friend, that one can only truly be encouraged by truth. We can say nice things to each other and try to lift one's spirits, but from the core level - only truth will really build one up. Take for instance a situation where a friend is facing a dead marriage. According to the world's standards, this marriage was over years ago. This friend has stuck with it, riding the waves of pain, frustration and heartache. She has grieved over her broken dreams and had to realize that her life has been forever changed, and not by any choice she made for herself.
She is committed to being the wife God has called her to be. Even if her husband isn't acting the way he should be. This is the "for better, for worse" part of the vow. This is worse. She has run the gamut of emotions from sorrow to anger and back again. Each day, she tries to see past her sadness, past her circumstances to find the joy that only the Lord can give her. It is an amazing journey to watch, to be invited to participate in with her. It is a divine privilege that I don't take lightly. There have been times that I wanted to go and pack up this man, who I love like a brother, and move him out myself. But, my job is to encourage her in her journey. Who am I to encourage one to walk out on a promise to God Himself.
As I pray for this couple, for healing, restoration, forgiveness and peace - I am also reminded to pray that God would give my friend guidance and joy that only He can give. That is the beautiful thing about God's joy - it is not reliant on our circumstances. May He draw each of them to Himself, above all else.
What is the truth in this situation? This is a question we have come back to a million times. The truth is: God is sovereign. If God is sovereign, then He divinely purposed these two to become one in marriage. Marriage was God's idea, not that we would live as separate people trying to row the same boat, or different boats, but that we would become one, rowing the same boat. Each member of the marriage has divine purpose, different giftings and weaknesses. It isn't supposed to be easy, we're not supposed to be able to figure it out without the Creator's intervention. We can't love without his help, we certainly can't experience true "oneness" without Him.
The fact that these two haven't given up over the years of pain they have endured is a modern day miracle. I can't wait to see how God is going to glorify Himself in this.
She is committed to being the wife God has called her to be. Even if her husband isn't acting the way he should be. This is the "for better, for worse" part of the vow. This is worse. She has run the gamut of emotions from sorrow to anger and back again. Each day, she tries to see past her sadness, past her circumstances to find the joy that only the Lord can give her. It is an amazing journey to watch, to be invited to participate in with her. It is a divine privilege that I don't take lightly. There have been times that I wanted to go and pack up this man, who I love like a brother, and move him out myself. But, my job is to encourage her in her journey. Who am I to encourage one to walk out on a promise to God Himself.
As I pray for this couple, for healing, restoration, forgiveness and peace - I am also reminded to pray that God would give my friend guidance and joy that only He can give. That is the beautiful thing about God's joy - it is not reliant on our circumstances. May He draw each of them to Himself, above all else.
What is the truth in this situation? This is a question we have come back to a million times. The truth is: God is sovereign. If God is sovereign, then He divinely purposed these two to become one in marriage. Marriage was God's idea, not that we would live as separate people trying to row the same boat, or different boats, but that we would become one, rowing the same boat. Each member of the marriage has divine purpose, different giftings and weaknesses. It isn't supposed to be easy, we're not supposed to be able to figure it out without the Creator's intervention. We can't love without his help, we certainly can't experience true "oneness" without Him.
The fact that these two haven't given up over the years of pain they have endured is a modern day miracle. I can't wait to see how God is going to glorify Himself in this.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Brain Dump
Okay, so this is all pretty random, but it is everything I'm thinking about...
First of all, I am so thankful to feel cherished. I am reading, "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. I have barely begun, but already have read enough chew on a little. The authors mention that every little girl has the desire to be precious to her daddy. I didn't have this experience and instead looked for that precious identity in other males.
What a blessing that God gave me a man who considers me to be precious. I feel truly cherished even when I don't deserve the attention and even when I make life harder on him. This thought process takes me back to needing to figure out what to do with the wound left by an absent father. I desire to put it all aside and let it go, but it isn't realistic and what would Jesus have me to do? I don't harbor bitterness and I have, and continue to, forgive him. It is more like a continual rejection. A hurt that pains me deeply. If he weren't living, I would grieve my loss and move forward, but instead I feel paralyzed and protective all at the same time. I don't want to write him off, I figure he probably has a story too, right? But, I do wonder if he cares. Does he ever think of me? Does he feel pain over this relationship too, or has he so detached himself that he is numb.
Okay, on to the next one. My heart hurts for my several friends who are currently laboring in their marriages. Each situation is unique, and yet there are several common denominators. Selfishness being at the core of most marriage problems, it is the hardest to deal with. I know, I am the most selfish person in my marriage. I hold on to my selfishness and think I have "rights." Really, it is about serving the other person, always putting their needs first and not letting the little things build up. Treating each other with respect and only speaking kind or encouraging words.
Marriage isn't disposable. It is permanent. It is interesting that the people I encounter who end up breaking up their family aren't really happy either. They usually end up becoming bitter and closed off emotionally. I wish people were willing to get help. To dig deep and do whatever necessary to not allow a family to be broken apart. I haven't walked a mile in anyone's shoes, so I don't intend for any of this to sound judgemental or critical. It is just that from my observations, the pursuit of personal happiness is an empty search.
Brain Dump - successful, time for sleep.
First of all, I am so thankful to feel cherished. I am reading, "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. I have barely begun, but already have read enough chew on a little. The authors mention that every little girl has the desire to be precious to her daddy. I didn't have this experience and instead looked for that precious identity in other males.
What a blessing that God gave me a man who considers me to be precious. I feel truly cherished even when I don't deserve the attention and even when I make life harder on him. This thought process takes me back to needing to figure out what to do with the wound left by an absent father. I desire to put it all aside and let it go, but it isn't realistic and what would Jesus have me to do? I don't harbor bitterness and I have, and continue to, forgive him. It is more like a continual rejection. A hurt that pains me deeply. If he weren't living, I would grieve my loss and move forward, but instead I feel paralyzed and protective all at the same time. I don't want to write him off, I figure he probably has a story too, right? But, I do wonder if he cares. Does he ever think of me? Does he feel pain over this relationship too, or has he so detached himself that he is numb.
Okay, on to the next one. My heart hurts for my several friends who are currently laboring in their marriages. Each situation is unique, and yet there are several common denominators. Selfishness being at the core of most marriage problems, it is the hardest to deal with. I know, I am the most selfish person in my marriage. I hold on to my selfishness and think I have "rights." Really, it is about serving the other person, always putting their needs first and not letting the little things build up. Treating each other with respect and only speaking kind or encouraging words.
Marriage isn't disposable. It is permanent. It is interesting that the people I encounter who end up breaking up their family aren't really happy either. They usually end up becoming bitter and closed off emotionally. I wish people were willing to get help. To dig deep and do whatever necessary to not allow a family to be broken apart. I haven't walked a mile in anyone's shoes, so I don't intend for any of this to sound judgemental or critical. It is just that from my observations, the pursuit of personal happiness is an empty search.
Brain Dump - successful, time for sleep.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Perspective is Everything
I just read a post by a friend referencing the depravity of man. His post made me stop in my irritated, tired tracks for a minute to refocus my perspective on what really matters. I have had a busy day, I feel like I cannot get caught up on my housework, homework, lesson plans etc. Too many things to think about, not enough brain power. What happens when the circuit is overloaded? It shuts down. That is what I want to do.
I was headed to the couch to spend some time recharging my spiritual life when I popped on the computer real quick and read his post. Right, right, it isn't about me. God doesn't care if my house isn't vacuumed or even if my vacuum has been sitting in the middle of the living room for a week waiting for me to walk by and turn it on. He wants me to care for my family. He doesn't care if I have the best lesson plans and most creative lessons ready for school, he wants me to love the little people in my class. He doesn't care if I maintain a 4.0 gradepoint, He wants me to be ready to be used when he places a new calling on my life.
He doesn't want me to be distracted by, or feel pressure because of the technology in front of me, He wants me to spend time with Him... thanks John!
I was headed to the couch to spend some time recharging my spiritual life when I popped on the computer real quick and read his post. Right, right, it isn't about me. God doesn't care if my house isn't vacuumed or even if my vacuum has been sitting in the middle of the living room for a week waiting for me to walk by and turn it on. He wants me to care for my family. He doesn't care if I have the best lesson plans and most creative lessons ready for school, he wants me to love the little people in my class. He doesn't care if I maintain a 4.0 gradepoint, He wants me to be ready to be used when he places a new calling on my life.
He doesn't want me to be distracted by, or feel pressure because of the technology in front of me, He wants me to spend time with Him... thanks John!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)